How dysfunctional is your team that you cheat, yet still lose.

This is the first thing that popped up in my head when I read the headline.

Is the Bengals vs Steelers rivalry the best circumstantial rivalry of the upcoming NFL season?

I read Dan Jenkins book Semi-Tough when I was an impressionable 18 year old. Ever since then I occasionally refer to the New York Jets as the “Dog ass Jets.”

Bullshit, Buffalo is the Oakland of Lake Erie.

Until they lose to Ohio State. Then Mayfield will have to live the rest of his life avoiding mono color outfits because dogs might confuse him for a fire hydrant.

I would like it to be something profound and original. But knowing me it will be some snarky comment about how shitty baby boomers, Dan Snyder or Jerry Jones are for this world to Drew Magary or some of writer I'm fond of.

I bet that sucks with all of that humidity.

Being a college football coach in this day and age means you have to have tunnel vision. You work these guys into the dirt so you have to look the other way when they get a little out of hand. All that matters to the alums of Southern universities is the big wins and national championship campaign.

To be fair, I usually order what is on special and the last time I ordered it was a three topping special. If it's only one topping I might only order onion.

“Paul Worrilow is the NFL equivalent of the guy that sits in my staff meetings cramming pencils up his nose.”

Yeah, fuck that guy with an obsidian blade dildo. Onions are the greatest vegetable ever. If I order a three topping pizza, it will be double onion and sausage.

Finally, something worth watching from the Olympics that wasn't basketball and wrestling.

Maybe it was one of the assholes that were charging $100 for parking.

I guess God did bless Ireland with the best of people.

I blame the re-segregation of American baseball for the increase of these Frat Douches in baseball. Thank you, baby boomers, for allowing meat heads like Papelbon to run amok on our baseball diamonds.

How is this not a televised professional sport?

So on this Saturday, August the Thireenth, in the most foul year of our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen. I’ve seen the “NORTH DAKOTA TOUGH” Carson Wentz break his ribs and Jared Goff complete his first NFL pass to a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. I'm glad the NFL is off to a consistent start and Enos Kroenke's team…

They’re either looking for Drew Magary after they read his 2016 article on the Bears or on their way to eat Jay Cutler to prevent him from continuing to give the Bears a bad name.

Oh man, this is so Florida. The only thing that could make it more fucked up if this kid was updrafted because he’s involved with Tampa area housing bubble scams and did away with a political enemy of Rick Scott by feeding him to a gator.