GURL. Yes. With regard to the jeans and such. Skirts and dresses, all day every day.

Anyway, uh, thanks, Nicki. Good to know you can just rock that shit now.

Hunh. After being wearing big A-line skirts to hide my giant ass for my whole and entire life, TIL that I'm proportioned roughly like Nicki Minaj.

Am I "in" now? Is this what the teens are lusting after these days? Hello, fellow kids.

Dude, I seriously know three baby Penelopes (one goes by "Plum" because there are a few in her class), four baby Sophias, and two baby Stellas. And a whole mess of Henrys and Isaacs and Finns. (Two are Phineas and one's a Finnian and one's something else, but they're all Finns.)

Heartbreakingly, I have seen this video because I belong to the "popping" subreddit, which is how I know that it was a "molluscum" aka a snail that licks the extracted comedo. Now I'm not foolish enough to recommend reddit to any Jezzies, but, uh, if you like this shit, you may wanna go lurk. There's some amazing shit…

Wait, so have you been a fat adult? Do you know the difference between the way you're treated now and the way you're treated when you're fat? As an adult?

Yeah, I think it's because people don't know how to do it. It sounds like some old-school 1950s shit to most people. Also, the spermicide is messy, and you can't really go down on the lady afterward for fear of getting chemical burns on your tongue, and you have to leave it in for X number of hours, etc. Those aren't…

I dunno, guys. the Pill did a fucking number on me, so I switched to condoms, and then I got pregnant after about a year, and then I later got pregnant when I switched to a diaphragm (Lea's Shield, which was later discontinued, so haw haw on me), but I've stayed baby-free since using withdrawal. For about five years…

If anyone knows what designer made that piano dress, I mean. Seriously. It's really important that I own that. Piano major, you see. Crucial.

Looks like either Clover Canyon or Mary Katrantzou.

Yeah, I've been dating anew lately and I always offer to go dutch, and it straight-up freaks dudes out. To say nothing of when I try to pay for the whole check. They get this look on their faces like it's a trick and an anvil's about to fall out of the sky and onto their balls. I live in the hyper-progressive liberal…

CHRIST. Thank you. I am so sick of the Jaime-Haters. I completely want to be him when I grow up.

#COTD

Of course there are white people in Africa. But if the point were to portray a, say, Dutch-South African, they probably wouldn't have bronzed the living shit out of her. That's clearly not what they were going for.

Yeah, seriously, what the fuck are you talking about? Wow, way to shock the world. You go.

That is the scariest video I have ever seen in my whole stupid life.

OWNED. oh, god. so hard.

Aw, you're too kind. I'd like to thank my buddy with whom I went to see Reservoir Dogs in the theater last night, for jogging my Tarantino lobe (apparently). <3!

Oh, ha, thanks! Blush blush.

Uh, ROYALE WITH QUEASE. You guys really dropped the ball here. Christ.

i was imagining someone's ass falling off. thud.