I may be drunk right now, but I'm still going to tell you a story.

Wait, "Hilaria?" Why is her name that?

Man, I am as white as the light at the end of the tunnel and have never seen what's attractive about tanning. My mom used to go in the '80s all the time and still tells the story of how I told her she looked ugly when she came home one day. Why would you do this? It looks like shit on white people, PLUS IT KILLS YOU.

Dear Madeleine Davies, I love your writing, whoever you are.

This article is just mean, dude. Who gives a shit? You just wanted to point out that someone had plastic surgery and that makes her a bad person, and then put a disclaimer saying you don't care. You wrote an entire article about it. You patently care.

I read the headline and eagerly clicked, thinking it was going to be about Amanda Bearse. TURNS OUT, I have never heard of Amanda Beard.

Yeah, there are mad coyotes in Seattle. When my kitten jumped out the kitchen window and got lost in the nabe for a few days, we called this dude who had a cat-finding dog, and he was, like, examining droppings in an overgrown house foundation across the street and said they were from coyotes. "Psshhh, there's no…

Yep, there's definitely some in Carkeek. I would guess Discovery Park too.

I've dated two guys now who didn't care for BJs. It was kind of confusing the first time, but I was downright shocked when I ran into the second one. I think the article's right: It's a thing now.

I dunno, man. A mountain lion (id est, a cougar) can still fuck you up pretty substantially. (An unsubstantiated mountain lion maybe less so.) And one was hanging out in Ballard the other day, so they're, like, around. I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE.

Christ, I read that goddamn article this morning and then forgot about it. Why you gotta remind, Jezebel? Is this a thinspo thing? I'll never eat again.

That's a great way to justify something. "If it doesn't harm you, then there's nothing you can do about it! Haw haw, I did something you didn't like, but EYE LIKED IT."

Uh. Two different authors, of course. Jezebel isn't one giant hive mind. It is made up of different people with different opinions.

"Her body held my interest, but so did her decision to wear a miniskirt on a bike."

Ditto. I was like !!!!!!!, oh.

The weird, almost-upside-down mouth of the woman on the graphic is the perfect caption. "Whunnnnnhnuh."

it's your job to shave all the hair off your body because that's what makes my dick hard! do your job!

my boyfriend writes promos for "MAD men" and it's a big chunk of his yearly income that's been delayed from summer 2011 to winter 2011 while weiner dicks around (heh) with negoations.

so i get your joke and everything (well-styled), but:

i like how svalbard is represented in this study. i wonder how many boobs there even are in svalbard.