Another man's ownership of you holds more water than a "no." Its the saddest thing in the world. And even if you are brave enough just to say "no" or "not interested"...my personal favorite follow ups are "are you a bitch or something?" or "relax."

"I like sitting in a hot car after a big lunch"

Don't leave a kid alone in a car.

"You may have seen it in the pages of US Weekly being worn by Dame Judy Dench....'s mother." - Liz Lemon

I hate being cynical, but does anyone else smell a bit of PR in the air when they read about Sofia Vergara and Joe Manganiello? He was just named "Sexiest Man," she ended a relationship with a well-known tool.... They're both super hot but sub-A-list and pushing middle age?

The theme of the party, presumably, was "actual hell."

I saw a girl in Bendel's who looked SO FAMILIAR. She was too young to be a classmate, and I was trying to figure out if I used to work with her or if she used to date a friend of mine.

Remember when he took Spinner's Adderall? I think it should be a clip from that specific episode if nothing else applies.

Because it was pointy, yes.

you mean she claims she was shaking a spear

My dad did something very similar to Alicia Silverstone.

My dad did something very similar to Alicia Silverstone. Saw her at a Starbucks in LA about 10 years ago and spent 15 minutes trying to get her to remember which of me or my sisters she went to high school with. She was like seriously, did not go to your daughters school! He told her to check her yearbook when she got…

circumcision is when a dick is filed down into a point, yes.

I think the lede here is buried, in that according to the OP on MTO, Drake is a CUNNILINGUS MASTER: "I must have c*me like 3 times while he was doing it. On after the other, after the other. I have had my box eaten hundreds of times, but no one has EVER done it like Drake. He has a real talent. His tongue went from…

Oh for crying out loud- can people please stop acting like straight men liking ass play is weird? It's 2014... about time for pop culture to become a little more open minded.

Future Shakespeare?? She's Shakespeare already!

appropriate:

I don't know how helpful this is, but I met my husband at a baby shower.

"Though boys throw stones at frogs in sport, the frogs do not die in sport, but in earnest." Bion - From PLUTARCH, Water and Land Animals