Don’t you dare question how I eat honey garlic wings or play chocolate milk racquetball.

It’s great you don’t run the world.

I don’t know what’s between his legs and neither do you.

Which bathroom does this guy use? Hint: Born a woman.

My favorite Everything Is Terrible.

If it wasn’t for Xbox 1, we couldn’t watch tv at all thanks to the goddamn Xfinity One shitbox that wouldn’t connect to my very specific “older” Samsung. Thanks Obummer.

Just upcycled in my mouth.

I don’t like what I see.

Call me.

Mmmm...have to disagree about the “never” part. I, like this author, appreciate the chubs (and bears and dadbods and huskies), and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by some 300+ plushies when they’ve dropped their pants: “Whoa! Don’t hide your light under a bushel, big fella!”

I also have Steelers fan inheritance/non-Pittsburgh native, and I have to say it’s wonderful to be continually invited back to gameday parties—even Browns games. I’m only that guy if someone makes a crack about Heath or the whole “Rapelisberger” bit. “NO! You’re wrong! It was sexual assault. Legally different terms.”

Ah, you did learn as young gaydawan. Bet you get a nice warm, wet spot when you think back on those months.

Sorry you didn’t get good edge training at the beginning from a wiser fellow. Had one at fag start, and his pointers on quickly finding a dude’s sweet spot and working it paid dividends those many years between then and now. Definitely appreciated those techniques for those Last Call Tricks that I wanted outta my…

I’m sorry, but I’m also Mr. Blue Steak guy. I once told a lovely, good humored waiter at our Capital Grille when he asked how I wanted my steak, “Like I like my women.”

No, but this topic has been covered.

“Language is wine upon the lips, you motherfucking motherfucker.”

Sure do! Teams going to GSWS in Columbus this year. You going?

I thought the ratings drama on my gay league was bad.