I know you don’t know me but I’m completely fine with you showing me your digital penis.

Metcalfe: “MY ASSHOLE’S FOR SHITTIN’, PAL!”

Counterpoint: disrespectfully agree.

On a lighter note, found Barb in the upside down.

Yes. There are guns in the Suitcase household, and they belong to Mr. Suitcase. I’m not terribly thrilled they’re in the house, but whatever, he cares for these things properly so I roll my eyes and go about my day.

4. I’ve taken to grabbing 3 tubs for just in case I’ve forgotten something, and I pass it along if I don’t need it.

Little People are my very favorite people, and you’re at the top of that list today. So sorry this happened to you...especially when you were hungover. That’s the worst.

I enjoy being 6'6 260 lbs and a former college football player with a voice as deep as Barry White

I take it you didn’t drive down Rock Creek Pkwy/Beach or 16th NW to enjoy our lovely potholes. In the past 14 months, I’ve blown 5 tires and ruined 4 rims on my non-low profile and non-spare tired Mini Roadster on those sumbitches.

Your second statement conflicts with your first. Rethink this.

If a business makes and sells wedding cakes to the public, then it makes and sells wedding cakes to all the public.

Exactly. I look forward to his dissertation on how treating the clutch like that would damage either the transmission or clutch. I suppose he has very strong thoughts about engine braking, too.

When deplaning, the person in the row ahead of you exits first—unless you think you’ll miss you’re next flight in which case it’s better to trample a family of five than get stuck at O’Hare.

I’m totally with you. Without reading the article, I viewed Balogh’s work as “This is how close I am to you.”

Don’t you dare question how I eat honey garlic wings or play chocolate milk racquetball.

It’s great you don’t run the world.

I don’t know what’s between his legs and neither do you.

Which bathroom does this guy use? Hint: Born a woman.

My favorite Everything Is Terrible.