Eh. The simple explanation for a lot of these people is that they have kids who wanted to see T. Swift. Boring, perhaps, but true.

If a list of five blankets is “disturbingly long” then I might qualify to be institutionalized. My Etsy wish list has no fewer than thirty two blankets on it.

Dang, Joanna, you know fucking better than this. We’re really posting stills of a possible rape?

I’m sorry, Ellie; I love you, but, as an avid sleeper, this list is much disappoint. Please see much better suggestions in the comments.

Most legit comment on Jez ever. Period. Over. Mic drop.

All day, er’ry day the answer is yes.

Edit: d’oh. Kinja’d.

I can’t believe I’m actually going to kinja about this but..

Yeah, this is not okay.

Most closely related raccoons.

We have a cat named Marcel Marceau because he makes the motion of meowing but absolutely no sound comes out.

YES. All of this, every single bit.

I’m having a profound “omg, ditto!” moment here because that is *exactly* what happens to me! I also have the added bonus of near-constant vomiting.

I seem to be either allergic to or completely intolerant of cannabis. No matter the route of administration or the potency of the drug, it causes me mild rashes and near-constant vomiting and dizziness for several hours after use.

Absolute favorite eating-popcorn-whilst-reading-the-fucked-up-things-people-say-on-the-internet gif. All of my daily allotment of stars for you.

Legit snorted at IUD cozy.

D’oh. Beat me to it. Womp-womp.

THAT YOU KNOW OF.

Winner! Wrap it up, folks; game’s over. Thanks for playing!

PeenEx’d. I died.