Well, Nerdad, when a Keymaster and a Gatekeeper love each other very much...

Romo’s sick of taking beatings. This is all part of his plan to hit 300 pounds to qualify to work from home.

Ken Rosenthal is reporting on the Olympics??

Conservative memes aren’t so much attempts at jokes as they are really short pamphlets trying to fully explain everything they believe in regarding a certain subject.

Yesterday, I got a haircut. At least three coworkers have asked me how I did it.

Heinicke tried to kick open the door and cut his foot while breaking through the glass pane on the door.

We should all talk, and by talk, I mean type, the same way Kevin did in the opening paragraph to this story, the one about the UFC, which of all live sports rights, is the one currently being written about, here on this website Deadspin, part of Gawker media.

Weeden didn’t start that playoff game for Houston. It was Hoyer, and it was a disaster.

Hello being so privileged that you can’t handle the concept of having to filter yourself when speaking in public. Sorry that doing what everybody else on the planet has to do and has always done is such a fun-sucker for you, Blake.

the problem with that is, of course, that that doesn’t work for assholes.

Christ, I can’t think of a worse duo to promote your business than Mike & Mike. Whatever happened to the last guy?

Wow, now I can easily search for all those old Rick Reilly columns...

But enough about Kinja, what about the Sports Illustrated redesign?

The only shows they have that could even remotely be considered watchable are the specific league highlight shows, but the dickheads they have "analyzing" them combined with the fact that the League-owned networks do a much better job makes ESPN a waste of time for anything other than live sports.

“Is there a chance my brain could bend?”

Another horrible example for America’s youth, when will people finally learn to hold their phone properly while shooting video? smdh

You might say Ready wasn’t...

I would have been here to make this reference but I had to stop for a haircut.

“The youth football program doesn’t reduce concussions?”

How often during the course of writing these for the Browns do you consider saying “fuck it” and just submitting the title with nothing below it?