Most of the 30 for 30's are for things I remember, I only like the non-rah-rahing of Outside the Lines. The rest is a vast wasteland.

They must think that demographic likes yelling about sports and documentaries about sports but can only tolerate around 5% live sports across all its shit-channels (outside of college football season)

“Gawrsh!” — Disney spokes-thing

Dennis “The Menace” Mitchell, Oklahoma LB prospect, also pled no contest to malicious mischief in setting fire to Mr. Wilson’s garage, promoted to team captain by Bob Stoops.

(Says something to be cheered by his 2-3 million racist regular viewers)

As miserable as Houston can be, I was heartened by our dozen or so Oilers-are-leaving-town sign-makers inthe mid-90s, all of whom had some variant of GTFO Bud or FU Bud

“What about us brain dead slobs?”

(Gen-X scoff) (synth riff starts playing) It’s the Safety Dunce

I did notice throughout the 80s that his name never changed from Randy Ready to Randy Actually Playing Every Day.

They probably did carry the Jerry Falwell “The Clinton Killed Fitty Men” VHS conspiracy tape, though, as well as the line of Rush Limbaugh Chewable Oxycontin-Laced Vitamins For Kids.

If the players are the individual papers, I’ve no reason to love them, my hate is large enough to encompass both they and the game. And would it kill somebody to feature the centenarian from Arizona with the headline “Suffrage Succotash”?

“Somebody’s here who can help us!” “Batman?” “No, an NFL concussion specialist” “Batman’s an NFL concussion specialist.”

Why, I’ve sold concussion-free youth football programs to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and it put them on the map!

Why your team sucks

I remember one from the Rockets’ first championship team: Richard Petruska (Chris Jent was almost one as well, but briefly came back to play for the Knicks in 1997)

“Judge Wants At Least 37 Non-Political Pieces of Flair Per Attorney, 11 of Which Must Support the Iggles”

Looking forward to his being moved to LF and Gurriel coming up later in August, because the team still has a dangerously high “strike out thereby never advancing men on base” rate typified by Rasmus/Gomez. Maybe this gets you a few 5-4 HR-fueled wins in the regular season according to somebody’s calculator, but it…

“But Chris, you yourself have lost several games this year.”

Browns GM: This is great news. I just wish he could be back sooner.

WHAT DO WE WANT? (confused murmur)