One of the many that kind of sum it up.

Gronk will spike it, and millions shall be moist.

Ah, nothing like one of the most racist metropolises in America to potentially host the most diverse event in the world.

"I swear guys, this time it'll be different than the last 20 times!" - Boston Olympic Bid Committee

BOSTON WELCOMES THE NATIONS OF THE WORLD WITH OPEN ARMS!

I think he deserves enshrinement for showing us how Skyline Chili was invented.

Tom Osborne is also well aware of the risk of going for 2 in a Bowl game.

Hopefully the coach will be a little more specific in the future when he calls for the runs.

Actually, it's pretty common for these kinds of shirts to get donated to third-world states, where issues such as mass corruption and excessive police force run rampant.

and just wants to see her son ball.

Why do urologists all seem to think they are fucking hilarious? I had prostatitis twice in 2007. That is an acute inflammation of the prostate gland. There's only one way to check it, and that is digitally. Meaning, a finger. The first urologist who gave me a prostate exam said, "on the plus side, I have the…

You should have used the opportunity to ask random women if they had an extra pad to spare.

For future vasectomy recipients, don't do what I did, and go out drinking the instant you get your clothes back on.

Clearly the gods decided "this is a funny man and we will give him a setup." And you delivered.

That's uncanny. Every year I get a chill of panic as I see my class roster and I play the "what gender is this? How many Averys and Taylors will I have?" game. I've had an Addison a year for the last three years.

well.... she did give a shoutout to her butt...

The fact that she didn't list a Kardashian or Taylor Swift means you've done your job as a father

11.Left talents in South Beach. Finding decent movers in Miami is a bitch.

God, I'm so goddam sick of these shameless, self-glorifying prostitutes, smiling as they drape themselves in whorish iniquity, posing and preening like they aren't way past their sell-by date. But hey, at least one of their freshmen got to take photographs with a porn actress.