I’d rather eat Hot Pockets and masturbate in the dark than watch a UFC pay-per-view.

Bullfighters are monsters. Glad this guy got what he deserved!

Black people be murdering.

Newt is the man!

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

I went to high school with Dylan Noble. Not the Dylan Noble who was shot, but a different person with the same name. Still, small world.

Anderson Silva looks like he’s dreaming about Hot Pockets in that picture.

$1.6 billion dollars?!

Oooh, Hot Pockets I love your way!

The Appetizer sounds like my channel. Hopefully they have some podcasts about Hot Pockets. They’re my favorite treat.

Do you have any tips for saving money on Hot Pockets?

The best way to suck up to someone is by offering them a Hot Pocket. Works like a charm! The best flavor is Ham and Cheese.

I could’ve been a great cyclist, but my love for Hot Pockets was TOO strong. Now I’m 300 pounds and happier than ever!

That dog loves the pool like I love Hot Pockets!

I once ate a Hot Pocket. GIVE ME TICKETS, ASSMUNCHERS!

I’d rather eat a Hot Pocket than have sex with Ciara.

Trump’s guilty....

Will this book provide a good makeshift plate for my Hot Pockets?

“Damn, so close!” — All of America.

Kaley Cuoco looks dead inside.