This was cross-posted to the io9 homepage, you dumb fucking retard.

I’d rather eat Hot Pockets and masturbate in the dark than watch a UFC pay-per-view.

Bullfighters are monsters. Glad this guy got what he deserved!

Channing Tatum is a hack. He’s not worthy enough to eat my Hot Pockets. Yo, Channing, if you’re reading this: Get out my kitchen you sack of garbage!

My legs get sore when I go to the microwave to retrieve my Hot Pocket.

Black people be murdering.

I ain’t afraid of no ghost!

Newt is the man!

Trust the Zuck? Yeah right!

Can you rank Hot Pocket flavors next?

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

I went to high school with Dylan Noble. Not the Dylan Noble who was shot, but a different person with the same name. Still, small world.

Anderson Silva looks like he’s dreaming about Hot Pockets in that picture.

$1.6 billion dollars?!

You’ll hate yourself less after eating a Hot Pocket.

It’s the SJW agenda.

Oooh, Hot Pockets I love your way!

The Appetizer sounds like my channel. Hopefully they have some podcasts about Hot Pockets. They’re my favorite treat.

Do you have any tips for saving money on Hot Pockets?

The best way to suck up to someone is by offering them a Hot Pocket. Works like a charm! The best flavor is Ham and Cheese.