Would YOU want to be alone on a yacht with Mark Cuban? Shudders.

#BestRapistsInBaseball

At least her hair is long again. You’re doing one thing right, Kaley!

This country will be torn about by war.

Jennifer Lopez is the devil’s spawn!

Damn, when did Deadspin get infected with PC Bros?

Fuck off, PC Bro.

Kevin Durant: The most notorious traitor since Finn.

Well, shit. CBS called it.

Better start calling the French team Eyjafjallajökull, cause they just erupted all over Iceland!

There’s no surrender in that Frenchman!

They will play hockey all night if need be, even after the ice starts to melt. They will play baseball all night if need be, even after the center fielder is forced to step in as pitcher. They will play basketball all night if need be, even after the fans leave to beat the morning’s rush hour traffic. They will play…

Hockey is a real sport because during the Stanley Cup they play overtime like grown-up athletes until there’s a winner.

Imagine if game 7 of the NBA Finals was tied at the end of regulation, and instead of overtime, they had 5 players from each team shoot a free throw. Now tell me with a straight face that soccer is a real sport.

I’d rather watch a cooking show devoted to Hot Pockets than All Takes Matter.

Or you can grab a Cheeseburger-flavored Lean Pocket!