That’s exactly why I didn’t play the video. Turd is accurate - he IS a piece of shit. Thank you for your transcription.

Hey!

He’ll take credit because his snide rebuttal “motivated” them.

“Underarm” serve? Underarm is a nice term for arm pit. Under Armor sucks ass. I’m just going to re-read it as “underhand,” and be at peace for today.

That's definitely Woody Harrelson. 

Of course he will still invite the women’s team - any women’s team, really. He can’t pass up an opportunity to seduce/assault women that have a pulse. Just imagining him stalking around the Miss America dressing rooms makes my skin crawl. I can’t wait until he gets what’s coming to him.

I can’t say for sure, but maybe the Mets are like the Cardinals and White Sox of recent memory. There's always the next game! They pick one team every summer and reduce them to whispy dandelion spores. It’s great fun!

I'll allow it 

Good...Good...

People that still have a subscription to Beckett get whiny about how he walks too often with runners in scoring position. Unless you’re anti-Canada, or he hits well against your team, there’s no good reason to not like him. Like away!

So many angry, flippin’ birds.

Never heard of it.

My kinda team, Charlie. My kinda team.

I'm looking forward to the Ball-Hawkers vs. Agents in the 8 & 9 matchup. 

I smell a Chuck Norris joke...

Mmmmorphine...

I don't know what to tell you, except Happy Father's Day to you too!

These pathetic people's parents should have tied off 42 years ago (or so).

Okay, okay...I made the whole thing up. "Piss up a rope" is an expression in the same vein as "Get bent" or "I do not share your exuberance for a team that buys success." Go take a long walk off a short pier.

You are definitely a jud