Usually, I laugh at those softies in the first rows that bail, EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THERE’S A NET. This lady has my full respect.

Russell Wilson is their captain.

173 and oh!

I believe Keon Broxton did this same last year for these Brewers. It’s delightful! To answer your question: I have no idea.

Dear Leader was impressed with Ovy’s hands? That seems plausible, considering he has the hands and temperament of a toddler. Calling Ivanka a “friend?” His thirst for her makes much more sense now.

I'm with Lord Coders. I tried, but thankfully only glitched up. After resetting myself, I just imagined him being led out the White House doors in a straitjacket. I'm much better now.

Just great. Next winter's hot stove is going to be worse than microwaved lettuce. 

Loch Ness Monster! 

I’ll bet Eloy has been to 0.0 gWar concerts.

It is clearly past your bedtime.

Classic redirection. Brian Murphy has taught you well.

Just like Happy Gilmore screaming/talking to the door intercom.

Winner

Watch your mouth sonny, before you get the classified section rapped on your knuckles!

Is Drew contagious? Do you not have soap and running water at Deadspin Headquarters?

It's been 10 minutes. Check back later this evening before pressing charges. Sheesh.

No

Who is John Galt?

I enjoy our changes in season and tempermental weather, but I would love to do some tent camping this weekend.

HURR DURR FER SURE, EH?