Fuck that, I only play Call of Duty #MLG420YOLOSWAG69

I don't really care about football, but I also don't really care about women. Is there some way I can use these two facts to make myself feel morally superior to everyone else without really accomplishing anything?

I agree, it seems like an absolutely mind-numbing job filled with endless vapid interviews filled with meaningless, cliched answers to obvi-[is shown the paycheck] I WANT TO BE ONE.

In related news, Giants fans mourn the passing of Eli Manning.

Yeah, that's understandable as well, but I think his presence aids movies. I think he still has the megastar wattage on screen, possessed by a very select few (Pitt and Hanks are probably the only ones Id throw in there; Will Smith and Johnny Depp are sliding off that tier) that can anchor a film on its own, a quality…

This is a really funny comment.

Hey, look, all I know is that between the McDonalds and Burger King in my town, Burger King burgers only give me regret, while McDonalds burgers give me regret, plus green (possibly radioactive) spiky deathshits for the rest of the day. If I need to start paying for my whoppers in beaver skins or Euros or whatever…

I can't help but think that he is simply enjoying the attention. a football player who happens to be gay would not want his sexual orientation to overshadow his talent and accomplishments. But here it seems as though he is putting his sexual orientation before everything else. He will be remembered as a gay…

Why did Kanye let her finish?

with a headline like that, I'm all ears!

"No corporations are going to be lining up to pay them money out of high school."

Depends.

Q: Why did he leave the game early?

This just in: Metta World Peace is still a giant piece of shit.

I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

"I instructed him to exit the vehicle. As he did, I noticed that he was rather large in stature and appeared to be athletically fit. I mean, he was huge. But still had amazing muscular definition. With broad shoulders and hands the size of ironing boards. If you were an NFL quarterback, it would be absolutely…

"large in stature and athletically fit" is my new favorite euphemism for black

I agree. If you can do the movements thoughtfully with someone eyeing you to assist, you'll be fine. The crossfit way is faster and with a one pair of eyes on a class of up to 20 or so. And the fitter you are, the more attention you'll get, leaving the people who need the most help to be more apt to injure…