YES! House on Haunted Hill was an honorable mention!

Don't worry, there are at least a few people whose mental mouse-pointer is still circling.

This thing... this thing was not good. The world could've done without this thing.

WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT A MINUTE

Dear Deadspin,

In a statement released last night, ESPN admitted that particular portion of the story was confusing. Here's the statement, via Pro Football Talk:

As a TV personality, Keith Olbermann has the likability of Derek Jeter during a farewell tour season.

Why is "White" capitalized?

Not an expert on the subject, but neither is anybody else here, so fuck it.

"We still have some investigating to do," Ed Troyer, the sheriff's spokesperson told The News Tribune.

You are too beautiful for this world.

Upon hearing the news, Pistorius quickly detached his Legs of Remorseful Courtroom Standing and attached his Legs of Triumphant Courtroom Two-Stepping.

Ted Robinson continues, "Now, see, that's where Ray Rice messed up. Two words, Ray: BODY BLOWS." He is now clutching a blow-up doll and pummeling its torso.

Okay, now that's something I hadn't considered. Good point.

I totally hear what you're saying about the distinction between players and owners/executives. There's a canyon between the two in terms of how their actions are viewed by the public.

Here's my question: How the fuck did it take a law enforcement official, like, five days to come forward and say, "Goodell said what? Man, I been sent that tape back in April. Fuck is he talkin' about."

Yeah, um, worse than Aaron Hernandez? Or Ray Lewis? Or O.J. Simpson? Or Rae Carruth? Or Eric Naposki? Or Robert Rozier? Or Michael Vick?

If anybody's reputation was tarnished by the commingling of Rob Ford and Mike Tyson, it was Mike Tyson's.