The White House is running on a bare-bones crew and no, that isn’t a shot at Kellyanne Conway.

*Mets staff googling how to cook chicken and finding promising results about Dishwasher Chicken*

Or, perhaps, it had a natural beret? (There is TMI story behind this I will not share because the details would disturb.)

Sure, here you go.

If she did make good on her threats, it would have been real awkward when his fellow police officers showed up to burn a cross on his lawn and lynch him.

Schrodinger’s Mexico. It’s both insanely violent and perfectly safe, depending on the argument that they’re trying to make.

sorry but im laughing hysterically at “weekend at bernies style” but yea it sucks that was a bad hangover.

Draymond: And I’ll form the leg!
Everyone: NOOO!

Oh, that ol’ thing?

The problem with championship parades is that they always take place on a weekday, so when New England sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending people who have jobs and contribute to society. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us.…

well, he’s not gonna get far in that shirt

*BAM!* You deserve a shot of whiskey with lunch.

Because people say that then dump coffee out into the garbage which leaks all over the condiment stand, floor and my shoes and now I’m wasting 15 min cleaning that up while the line jams. Or worse it’s still hot and I get a burn. It’s not the barista it’s your fellow customers.

Charcoal grill also highly recommended for rubbing the salted slices with oil and grilling. The crust is amazing.

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

Oh, you mean The Loophole?

“I didn’t want to see this woman arrested.”