LOL. You would be hilariously wrong...

Gregg was blindsided by the news.

Ah, if only someone - say, an occasional contributor to this site - had proposed this idea in 2016...

Oh my god. This immediately brought to mind the scene in Kill Bill where the hospital attendant had been assaulting her while she was in her coma and just jesus fucking christ. This poor woman.

What about today? Do you hate your country more than ever today?

The entrance to my high school cafeteria was two sets of double doors.
I was holding the interior door open for a group of friends when one called someone a pussy, which led to me hopping back away from the door as a carton of chocolate milk sailed by.
it missed the whole group and the door I was holding had juuuust clos…

Or for the rest of the season Aaron Rodgers would be sailing passes slightly over his head in an attempt to murder him

I would say this is another example of college football supporting rich, asshole coaches over players, but I don’t want to keep beating a dead offensive lineman. 

close your mouth, dingus

Y’all may not understand and that’s kool!!!

Wow. The Jags are so bad, they’re even having trouble handling the Bills. 

I get that it’s ALL wrong and TWO wrongs don’t make a right...But I’m also a petty bitch and it’s why I don’t feel too bad when stuff like this happens to Burfict.

“Round is a shape.”

They are french fries. The game changer would be getting them cooked properly without having to teach the employee how to do it.

When I was growing up, there were two brands of microwave french fries. Ore Ida had some that were just crinkle fries in a box. They were OK, and as a kid being able to microwave some fries was pretty good. Last time I was in the Boise airport, there was a vending machine that you could still get them from.

Are you me?  This is my line...

Unfortunate that she was standing so close, but of course hindsight is 20.

Went to the golf course with two fully functioning eyes.  Ended up with a hole in one.

Kavanaugh: The Clintons and liberals are in a giant conspiracy to destroy me, my career, and my family.

True story: Bale actually does this on his own and they just come up with movies for him to star in based on his current physique.