No, staring at other women when you know your girlfriend ‘puts up with it’ makes you an asshole. And, generally, leering at any women in public does indeed make you an asshole.

I feel for the Secret Service agents who have to guard Trump. Or do you think they send the lowest of the low over there? Like the ones who sorta fell asleep on the job, or arrived at a potential bomb site drunk?

And yet EVERYTHING he says is being eaten up by the insane right wing in the US. I hope you people are ready for some seriously fucked up politics in the coming years.

There should be, like, a “Drunk” Facebook setting you can activate where you have to solve a complicated math problem before you can ‘like’ stuff or message someone.

Try Reyka! You fools!

I pound a 750 of Gordon’s nightly. Does the body good and I get it fo’ $7, dawg!

Bobby Jindal drinks Ciroc

No Popov? This list is horseshit...

Taste tests are worthless.

“There are only two types of vodka. Good vodka and the battery acid that makes you go blind,” Oscar Wilde.

One of the best moments of my life was standing in line at the DMW as this broke through like a clarion call as someone’s cell phone ringtone.

Filing this under Awesome Obama Raps alongside this classic:

Goddamn I am going to miss the Obama administration

Bless the internet.

Look who’s day drinking now, normally we have to wait for evening for such an outstanding article, I love lunacy in the early afternoon it makes Monday so much better.

If someone wants to dive into Atlas Shrugged right behind Bernie Sanders’ head during a rally I would have zero problems with it. As I’m sure the vast majority of people there would as well.

Do these look the same to you

I don’t know about you but I’m absolutely fine with anyone reading a book at any political rally.

Yes. That’s exactly what just happened here.

Thank goodness humans don’t have to lick their babies clean like cats.