She’s got Stage 4 Theater Kid-itis.

From everything I’ve read about her, she’s hella thirsty but plays like nothing matters to her. Annoying.

HFS! She looks like the Skipper doll I had in the 70s

Imagine being one of Jennifer Garner’s friends right now. “You’re getting back together?....Congrats.” I would have a really, really difficult time pretending to be happy about the news.

Omg her face in one on the left looks just like that old pinup Hilda. (Google it, I’ll wait)

I hate to break it to you, but this mess is really all your daddy’s fault.

They are the same age and it’s a 99.99999999% probability he knows nothing of her experiences, and if he did, he has little clue of the mental effects. Be reasonable.

I know it was you, Spicoli...

I totally thought that but the reference became so tortured when I tried to write it up I just scrapped it.

I mean, this isn’t the first time Pete Campbell’s baby mama kept her pregnancy and delivery a secret.

Don't cry for me, Chobani!

Trump’s response:

By the tenets of bird law, I’m pretty sure that makes Bernie the Democratic nominee.

I was there! We did lose our shit because it was so freaking adorable. The waiting for hours was a bummer, but overall, I enjoyed it and I’m glad I went.

omg I know, I can’t believe I missed that. But I DO enjoy picturing her clutching a fistful of pearl earrings while throwing floppy, impotent punches on the stoop of a restored brownstone littered with strollers.

“How dare this person, who we were paying very generously to care for our young daughter–”

You’re fired too, Ry-bones. Then I’ll fire myself!

Ah, there’s nothing quite like the utter ignorance of the clueless rich kid...

Now at this point in Kyle’s story, the part of me who is the teenager who came of age in Brooklyn started bubbling up– and my hands started itching to take my earrings out and hold them while I got CRAZY.