i have done krispy kreme donut bread pudding. it is magical and delicious. the really hard part is letting the donuts get stale, which means NOT EATING THEM for 2-3 days.

I live in a rural area where veggies are busting out of the ground faster than we can pile them. It’s totally veggie stock season. I’m cooking like the Dickens every day and I can’t keep up with all the vegetables I want to soup and sauce and pickle and fry and eat raw. Everyone keeps stopping at this farm or the…

Can you please explain to me if bay leaves even do anything. I feel like they are some kind of hoax. Not sure what the long con is here but... what are they adding into the mix?!

Maaan, the first time I made stock, I strained it right down the fucking drain because I wasn’t paying attention. I sat on the kitchen floor and cried.

My mom gave me some leftover frozen scallops. I forgot to put them in the fridge and left them in my car for 10 hours. Cooked them, ate them and survived.

The place I get it from gives such huge portions, I can usually split it in half and have two meals out of it.

Did I do that? Either time?

No. No I did not.

Best robot voice ever!

Exactly, or tight braids or weaves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tight man-bun.

Ahem. I find many of them strangely magnetic.

My Dad likes to say that he has no idea why men would think that having a virgin is a big deal or a good thing. Firstly, why would you want a virgin? She doesn’t know anything, wouldn’t you want a woman who knew alot about sex? As he says, “give me a slut any day!” Then he hugs my mom and then she smacks him and…

Okay?

Yeah, this is a real problem with some guys. he was not an MRA, but my college boyfriend at the time I got raped seriously could not deal and said “he didn’t want to be compared” like I was fucking taking notes while being raped. We were already on a break when he said that, but that pretty much sealed the deal. How…

Seriously, how insecure are you that you need someone with zero experience who won’t realize how bad you, douchebro, are at the sex having? Also, if you’re having conversations about women’s perceived “fuckability” on bodybuilding.com, I’m going to go ahead assume that your lack of regular sex having isn’t because…

It’s a painting shirt.... fuck off

Fish looks like he’s saying, “Oooooooooh a hooman!”

A baby fuckin’ wheel.

“That is still good meat on that fuckin’ fish kid!” After 5 minutes of going through the stages of horror, wonder, amnesia, horror, wonder, amazement and finally hunger.

How might I find myself employed by Jezebel so that I may undertake this kind of investigative journalism?

I would really love to be paid to eat and poop, tbh.

I once pooped rainbows because of the superman ice cream in the mid 90’s. So, some dyes in a high enough concentration do turn our poo into fecalfetti. If these dyes are used still (I hope not), it could still be possible.