In fairness to Cole, it has to be hard to pitch with Smoltz that far up your ass. 

You think that’s bad, Adam Gates lied to us and said Darnold was starting for the Jets and not the Pats.

Also what 17 year old goes by “Bill”? Are we sure this isn’t a Billdozer situation?

Well, it’s official: I’m an old. The toughest kids on my HS football team had pierced ears.

My kids played at a “Football” high school. The number of kids under the age of 18 that had tats, and even sleeves, was astonishing. The youngest I knew was 16. I would put it at 25-30%

They were also cheating because the running back is 33 years old and also Marshawn Lynch.

The running back had tattoos on his arm? Is it common for 17 yr olds to have tattoos? 

Take notice?  Or take notes?

Hey, it’s Enrico Pallazzo!

“A perfect 158.3 passer rating with a hallucinatory stat line: 25-for-31 passing for 429 yards, five passing touchdowns, and a rushing score to boot.”

don’t forget robotic Richard Simmons

I just made a comment about the same situation...when that was going on with Webber, I think it was Mark Purdy who wrote that Sacramento is a great place for a young, single, multi-millionaire, African American man to get a really good night’s sleep.

We would’ve had sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, but they were a budget cut in 2014. Thanks Obama smdh!1!

That’s why Trump wants spikes on the top. And black paint to burn climbers. And alligators. And snakes.

Don’t be trite. The wall is only designed to thwart *expert* climbers. The snakes and dragons stop the novices.

Dallas police have vast discretionary power when it comes to professional sports personalities, guarding alleged presidential assassins, and shooting through doorways/windows.

Drunk driving is one of the few criminal charges that's pretty black and white. You're a shitbag if you choose to drink and drive. 

I am not a boxing writer or anything, but I think Bud is second only to Lomachenko in the active pound-for-pound debate, personally, let alone welterweight.

I heard the main reason for the accident was because there was a traffic jam and he was already late.

That’s a good wrong take.