Well, maybe you shouldn’t have stopped for that last haircut...

Remember:

I call the big one Bitey.

I got Hep A in ‘95. I crushed the shit out of the entire Knight Rider series.

10 years ago for me and went to the emergency room because my skull felt like it was splitting open. Still have no idea where or how I got it since I certainly wasn’t kissing my future ex-wife at the time.

Dude, monorails put Brockway, Ogdenville, AND North Haverbrook on the map.

Same, I got it in like 91. BH 90210 was still in first run, I didn’t even have that. 

He probably got it from riding on the Monorail.

Man I had that in high school for real. Spent a month laying on the living room couch throwing up into a bucket. Probably lost 20 pounds. This isn’t going to help being the Jets QB.

Should’ve kept him away from Joe Namath.

The reason you don’t see an industry of women accusing extorting professional athletes is because it doesn’t exist. 

Yeah, I mean, we all know that you decide you want to file a high-profile lawsuit on Monday, and by Tuesday it’s filed, and by Wednesday you can go prep for a wedding.

Except the headline read “Lawsuit: Antonio Brown Raped Former Trainer” so clearly it stated the allegation made in the lawsuit and was not concluding the truth of anything. I mean, it’s embedded in this article, at least try harder with the bad faith arguments.

Trump has really helped me understand my own family better and vice-versa...which is so much sadder than it sounds. 

Hey, Cold Snacks are not shit beer! They’re $1 cheaper than PRB and have a pretty pony on the can.

This beer (the PNW) is so bad, I poured out the six-pack after drinking half of one on a camping trip.  Yup. Beer so bad, you can’t even drink it camping.

I kinda wish Colin Kaepernick could just pull an Enrico Palazzo and show up to the Jags game in a semi-convincing Gardner Minshew disguise, throw for 250 and a TD in a win, then pull the mask off in post-game interviews.

Being a Baltimore native my go-to cheap beer is National Bohemian, which I consider superior to PBR—though it’s possible the two beers flow out of the same tank like the three varieties of Duff. Branding!

As long as the women are forced to bury their miscarried children everything will be a-okay!

Which do you think was Jesus’ favorite dinosaur?