I guess I’m not a good impartial spectator. The very thought of anyone being kissed or touched by Aziz Ansari seems like a crime to me by default (mouth vomit).

Was this guy also a contributing designer for the Lincoln that tap-danced at the World’s Fair the way everybody remembers?

The prison ‘luxuries’ field is a hugely profitable monopoly because, of course, they have a literally captive customer base. Most notably the corrections facilities’ phone services (you have to have an account and pay into it for credit to talk to people outside or have them call you at special prearranged setups,…

Katie Couric wanted us to all collectively share in her colonoscopy but now wants us to believe that her head was also up there with the probe the whole time, apparently.

It’s not surprising. For years one of the most famous quotes attributed to Clapton was “I’ll never play the blues as good as a black man” (actually attributed nothing, I saw him actually say it during an interview in the post-lost-son “Tears in Heaven” craze, around the time of his MTV Unplugged special).

Now on the…

Good to see we went from a president who declared war against half the other continents on false pretenses...dragged into the longest war yet on record for our nation...then we managed to somehow successfully elect and re-elect and actual honest-to-god STATESPERSON who comprehended intelligence, tact, dignity,…

I dunno though if you want to give as your defense “well the modeling agency said they’re healthy!” I mean...historically isn’t it these mercenary agencies that have put the most pressure (second maybe only to society itself) on these girls to look a certain way based on what they’re told their client base is looking…

Yup. Pretty much agreed across the board. SNL seems to really fulfill a tradition of wasting some of the potentially best guest hosts (Sam Rockwell) and then somehow getting a diamond in the rough from others (Kevin Hart)

Seriously, this episode was severely disappointing given the versatility of Sam Rockwell. The ‘f-bomb’ was possibly the most interesting highlight of the night. Colin & Michael’s Update was sound as usual but gotta say...Fred Armisen still gives me the mega-creeps.

Was it Thomas Paine who said we rarely if ever get the government we want, but we always get the one we deserve?

Yup, this is exactly what I’ve been saying for years: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP WANTING TO WORK FOR HIM? I know the easy answer is “It’s Woody Allen and he’s famous for doing great movies,” but the really thoughtful answer is “I wouldn’t.”

Thanks for the sincere and heartfelt response, I genuinely appreciate it.

Sadly, the implant idea isn’t feasible. The problem is that with Crohn’s in my case, there is a one-two punch.

The long-term damage has actually re-wired me neurologically to where my brain actually interprets many common signals—hunger, fatigue,…

Yeah I’m sorry but I have to agree that Roseanne claiming this is her way of just making the show “more in line with the real America” of the fictional family here is crap, definitely proof of her own privileged and long-established upper-standing viewpoint clouding the matter.

There’s some truth that in fact many…

Speaking of which, in all this hubbub...I almost hate to bring it up, but...

I’m really bothered seeing that nobody has raised any further issue with the allegations raised specifically against Gal Gadot. If we’re to be absolutely non-cynical and keep integrity to the MeToo and all general movement to recognize the…

I’m gonna say that I really like Harbour. I dig his work on Stranger Things and even though I’m a bit heartbroken that Hellboy 3 didn’t turn out, I’m still eager to see his portrayal in the reboot.

All that said: damn. Just...damn.

I have terminally advanced Crohn’s Disease. It didn’t have to ever GET terminal, but bumbling and misdiagnoses for the last 12 years finally let it progress to where it has so scarred my small intestine, segments of it are ‘pinhole strictured’ with scar tissue and they can’t even pass fine scopes past them to see how…

Maury Povich will help determine paternity next month.

I’m imagining Trump reading over it as the person who actually wrote it gives him a final copy.

“’Kinara’? Wasn’t she one of the Thundercats?”

Yeah...God forbid the U.S. ever consider operating like many European places and just let people have the freaking holiday period completely off and worry about getting back to shit after New Year’s.

I work at a company that just made me work both Christmas Eve and Day (ten hour shifts no less, though yes I got…

Meh. All I see is she spent a lot of time and effort and paper and wrapping to give this to a guy who’s such a clueless, jackholed wonder it might make him feel a little embarrassed for about an hour and then he’s back to being his witless self.