Mine included my devastating break up, losing my job and the wreck totaling my car. Thanks for the reminder, FB!

You can shut your whore mouth about spiral ham.

Nope. I bought the fourth dress I tried on off the rack. The boutique where I got it had their own designs that were made in-house. My dress was an end of season purchase - $2,500 dress and veil for $600.

I will definitely not mock this man for his nightmarish condition.

hahaha!!! I'm feeling fortunate!!

If Miami is uninterested in bending over for Beckham, I would be more than willing to do so :)

Starred for the Rob Base quote!

I think I have a little something in my eye.

I've tried all different kinds of instant oatmeal since I know it would be good for me to eat in the mornings. I have never had oatmeal as yummy as theirs. I fully put it down to whatever crap they throw in with it.

Kathy M., you are an idiot: McDonald's oatmeal is delicious and I can't eat enough of it. And I say that as an avowed oatmeal hater.

I was going to say I WILL TOTALLY TAKE YOUR PLACE IN THAT LINE!!!!

The picture of Jamie's husband isn't loading for me, but if she can be attracted to goofy Ben then how bad can the guy actually BE?

I wish they still had green stamps. I freakin' loved helping my mom fill her books :)

OH NO. No no no. I fought the ticket and it was thrown out. In addition, I went before the district magistrate and they found in my favor. The city was forced to pay my insurance deductible as well. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I still see the cop every so often when I'm walking around the city.

I am sure YOU would never punch a bunny and thus would never receive the cinder block treatment.

It is the only thing I can think of that is equal to how heinous his actions were.

While trying to get out of my office's parking lot one day, two cops decided to very speedily back the whole way up the alley I was trying to turn into. Even though I tried to back up quickly they managed to smash into my car. I had done nothing wrong in the accident but that didn't stop five cops from swarming me…

I would gladly put this guy's dick on a cinder block and drop another on top.

I would also like to offer my services. For the greater good.

HEY HEY HEY! No need to bring the goats into this ugliness