People are such assholes.

Oh I had that from the ex. "XXX, I don't want to be in a long distance relationship!" Oh yes? Then why did you so single mindedly pursue me in the first place?!? I didn't pull a fast one on you a year ago (WE WERE TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS!) and pack up and move 180 miles away in the dead of night!!

Asshat.

My last boyfriend (of two years) broke up with me via text .... while I was at work .... by telling me he was cheating on me. It wasn't the happiest day I even spent on the office.

This is one of the only times I wish animals could talk because I bet Shelby has a story that could be a three night Oprah special.

No, I'm sorry. Van Persie's header was much better than that. And I say that as a RVP hater.

When I first fell passionately in love with football, I used to go onto chat groups because I didn't know anyone local who loved the sport like I did. I was so well versed in tactics, clubs, scores etc. that I cannot tell you the number of times I got accused of being a man masquerading as a woman. It was absolutely…

I think I might have a better chance than the USMNT.

I've never watched Cool Runnings, but I totally co-sign on the Bring It On part. It is one of my favorite movies of all time.

Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys!

Are you sure you don't want to watch, Kelly? Because there will be a lot of beautiful men walking around without shirts on at the end of each match. EYE CANDY!

When I dream happy dreams at night, this is what I dream about.

Oh fuck her. Nothing makes me as happy as when I find one of my old favorites from my tween years at a used bookstore. I'll even get all excited when I find one of those Sweet Dreams books. And the Westing Game rocks and no one can convince me otherwise.

FUCK YEAH THE WESTING GAME RULES!!!! I still pull it out once a year to read!! I even have the audio book!!!

Meh. My father and I danced to Sinatra's Summer Wind because it was one of our Frank favorites. I would have died before something like Butterfly Kisses ever played at a function of mine.

Oh fuck this list. Any list that has a food containing HEAD CHEESE, and said food is not ranked DEAD LAST is a list that is fucking travesty.

You do you, Mimi.

I am both aroused and sickened by the video. Sickened because HOLYSHITHIGHHIGHHIGH. Aroused by Lee. That man is very pretty and it looks like he has some nice hands.

I'm pretty cool with this. I generally like self-serve options, from the you scan lines at the grocery store to the ordering kiosks at Sheetz. I'd be happy to have the option at fast food places.

Just reading this article makes me want to vomit. I read it too close to lunchtime.

I KNEW THAT WASN'T A CURRENT PICTURE!

I know my limitations and will not be watching the video and blubbering. However to celebrate the kittens being rescued I will now squeeze my own old girl, smooch her head and tell her how I will never let her in the lair alone when there is a hurricane.