This is one of the best reasons I can point to as a reason to keep your friend list at a reasonable number. When you start friending every person you ever met, you end up with a lot of stealth assholes.

So when I had melted chocolate between them it looked like I was a participant in scat porn :D

Thank goodness. I was looking forward to a kitty picture (and had one picked out to share of my old girl), saw nothing and decided my phone was being an asshole.

Cats are the fucking best.

I am absolutely taking that as a compliment. Really I have it because I stressed myself out so much trying to think of a witty name, I finally just said "fuck it. I'll be HolyPoopBalls." Because I am just that much of a lady, god dammit. :)

I KNOW! They aren't a cheap shoe really, but I have more than gotten my money's worth. Especially since I sometimes wear them during the winter as well with wool socks. Shh.

Preach.

I am wearing my 10 years old Birks RIGHT NOW.

Awwww! That is such a sweet offer! But your sons could be MY SONS - if I had had any children, that is :)

Can I be friends with your friend???

My sister!

I'm petite and busty so it ends up being both. Leaning over to be "careful" sometimes means that I just end up plopping them on the plate!

I love powdered donuts myself and always end up looking like I've dunked my head in a vat of cocaine after indulging.

A blessing and a curse. Blessing and a curse.

And no way to be sly about its retrieval. You just gotta rearrange everything and fish around.

And doesn't it get itchy???

Oh i know. So often I look down at my cleavage and think what the hell is THAT?? There's always something lurking in there ..

I once spent 15 minutes talking to a board member at a work function ... and afterwards realized that my left one had been sitting in mashed potatoes and gravy. The left one is so goddamn unruly.

ooph. I was married to that. Horrible 15 years.