I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

“Wednesday night’s Leagues Cup Tournament match between Real Salt Lake and Liga MX side Tigres UANL.....narrowly avoided being trampled by an RSL defender”

Somewhere there is a grateful cop with alopecia beating a black man with extra zest today due to Jansen’s generosity

With a sold-out stadium and at least 10,000 people wanting to take the train

“Thanks for the heads-up" -Third Eye Blind

you need to check the couch for stains

I had to look to see if she was still alive.  It turns out that I don’t need to be furious that you omitted Carol Channing.

Trump: Melania, I know just the thing to cheer these people up.

This case should be a layup for the Players’ Union

“I think Sabathia is trying to communicate that whatever words caught Garcia’s attention were intended for home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi”

I can’t wait for the next segment of “Tinactin a Fool”

The good news is that Shaq can “go to Sargento and save some time”

The PGA is a sporting concern whose most prestigious tournament takes place at a club that had no black members until 1990

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go

god damn typo!

Aliance of Magicians:

“see, Tina, you could learn a thing or two from our son" -the ghost of Ike Turner

“For the time being, Ladd says she’s going to take a break and do some traveling”

That header picture looks like she knew she didn't fool Penn and Teller

Adam Silver looks like the lead in the Disney live action remake of the American Gothic painting.