I think these shoes need find my iPhone-like security that allows the owner to remotely tighten these shoes to “Diabetic Neuropathy” in the event that your dumb shoes are stolen.

I’ve thought about the Washington football team name fiasco a lot. What could Snyder rename the team without alienating its fanbase? I think this is truly the only option.

This is explains why he called Mexicans “rapists and merderers.”

ha!  I blurt laughed

This is brilliant

I am a Nick too. Foles' nickname is better than my Whiskey Dick Nick.

He’s funny in the way that a woman becomes more attractive the longer the funeral or mass goes on. Like you go to a funeral or church and to kill time you think “Ok, if I could or had to do anyone here who would it be?” At first, you are like “Gross! No one!” Then by the end you think Sr. Mary Francis could get it.…

I was about to say the exact same thing.

“heh, all your players have their green cards?  I kid I kid.  Just thought I’d give you something to chuckle about on the caravan back.”

“heh, all your players have their green cards?  I kid I kid.  Just thought I’d give you something to chuckle about on the caravan back.”

the blame in Spain falls mainly on the Armenians

He’s distracted because his Nassir Gymnast Clinic business is inexplicably tanking.

I was watching a Laker game the other day and a conversation between Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy annoyed me. LeBron, sporting a jacket over hoodie look, was sitting next to Rondo in a First Communion suit. If I remember correctly, JVG comments on how nice Rondo’s little suit was. Mark Jackson, as if he’s had to do…

I’d like a team to be called the San Antonio Guys From The Pace Picante Sauce Commercial. They’d be immediate rivals with the Islanders and Rangers.

Gruden’s moving into “weather map of tornado activity in Kansas” redness territory.

It’s perfect.

This is such a well-constructed joke.  Well done!

He also tested positive for high levels of Werther’s Androstenedinals

I feel for this guy. Once I was accused of making the old limp-wrist-gay-gesture when I was just trying to walk like an Egyptian.