“He a bitch.” -Udonis Haslem picking his dog up from the vet

Join me in calling for tighter T-Shirt Gun laws.

That’s my point.

This is what happens when no one wants to touch the broom typically used to sweep this kind of shit under the rug.

This is the better joke

Every international soccer video I see looks as if the weather forecast called for “overcast skies with an 80% chance of suicidal thoughts”

That dad’s name? Lavar Ballsworthington

buddy...

Tebow hit .273 with six homers and 36 RBI in 84 games this year for Binghamton in Double-A before undergoing season-ending surgery to remove his hamate bone in his hand.

that crowd would have lost their shit if Trump started handing out Ouija boards.

“no homo erectus” -Tim Tebow

Looking back, I should have been on to him after he offered me Oasis tickets.

Damn, Floyd, you gotta have someone read the fine print.

Gabriel Michael Santorum lived for only two hours. The Santorums spent the night in the hospital bed with their lifeless baby lying between them. The next morning they brought the palm-sized corpse to Karen’s parent’s house. They had their other children pose for pictures and cuddle with Gabriel. They sang lullabies…

I am guessing every Trump voter’s tea order at Craker Barrel was delievered sweetened.

Rick Santorum is on CNN acting like he wants to take the dead house bid home to meet the kids.

Look on the bright side, his wife and kids won’t have to be around him as much

Florida will always retain its swing state status due to age and gravity’s effect on balls and breasts.

“ouch!" -Derrick Rose

That bald guy just got his SAG card for his on-screen portrayal of “man who gives a shit about the well-being of Michael Irvin.”