This is good and perfectly worded.

“You press pause, get your mind right, step up, press pause to gather information, get your mind right to gather energy, then step up to do the right thing, and that’s the position that I hold.”

I bet this guy hasn’t buttoned a shirt past the third button in decades.

20 dollars says this fucking guy says he’s capable of having sex for 15 hours straight, when in actuality 14.5 of those hours are spent not even touching, but in separate rooms licking a crystal in a prostrate position.

*JR voice* “Bah god, he hit him with the plastic patio chair!”

“Honestly don’t know who for sure but probably (teammate’s name redacted) or another s****y f*****g (N-word) with no morals,”

Nice piece!

I was thinking about 9/11 the other day. Not really the day itself, but the name “9/11.” I cannot think of another month/day that would have quite as nice of a ring. I think it’s how nice the “11" part of 9/11 sounds.  Here’s my breakdown...

Doughy Kevin Love looks like he should have a sitcom where he is a security guard and inexplicably has a hot wife who really likes to get his goat.

Sorry, I have been on vacation for a lot of this. I kept hearing something about Papa and the “n-word.”

“actually I was joking with my trainer earlier today and I thought it’d be fitting...”

More liberal media bias. No Trump University in sight.

In response to Papa’s inflamatory rhetoric, Papa John’s has decided to rename their olives to just "black olives" 

not to be outdone by the Predators and Red Wings, the Capitals have decided to start tossing salads out on the ice.

Say what you will, but no kid has ever been bribed with Skechers.

Did you know that Toys R Us closed after adding stars to the giraffe? 

Seahawks safety Kam Chancellor tweeted out a grim announcement last night, saying he had to “walk away from the game because of the risk of paralysis.”

All of this feels so insane to me that I keep having to lay it out and see if it starts to make any more sense, and it never does: Winston was allowed to maintain his innocence

what do the Kings have against tangible assets?