Oh noooooo.

Definitely Not Miss Piggy

a b-list young celebrity was in my major last year and naturally everyone on campus knew who he was, but when my friend came down from another school to visit for the weekend, she hadn’t seen any of his recognizable work and had no clue who he was.

Proper response to this is, “No I don’t. Do you know who I am? I’m the guy that’s going to be handling your food. Would you like me to handle it happily or angrily?”

Hi Colin, I just wanted to thank you for BCO. My father-in-law passed away last Monday morning, and I spent all week making phone calls, driving people around, making arrangements, serving people, and sleeping on my living room floor. It was the week from hell. A few times each day, though, I was able to sneak away…

My favorite was always the ol’ “I’m friends with the owner!!” I would smile at them and very politely say “Great! Just go ahead and shoot him a text that you’d like to to get seated and he will let us know. I would love to seat you, but I’m not authorized to skip anyone to the top of the list” Only one person out of…

Yeah. Love people who ultimately fuck themselves over lol

There's nothing like karma doing the revenge for you! Not a restaurant, but I worked at a grocery store and something like this happened. Whenever someone bought wine, I'd always offer (per our regular standard) to wrap it up in some newspaper to protect it. She'd already been rude and snappy with me - probably…

Charmin is probably behind the scenes sponsoring this guy.

I once had a b-list celebrity start whining to me at one point because I wouldn't give him the moon and he pulled the “don’t you know who I am” card. It was so satisfying to look him dead in the eyes and reply, “No, I don’t, and I don’t care.” His face was priceless.

My biggest takeaway from this is that there’s a WAFFLE HOUSE ALBUM AND WHY DON’T I OWN THIS?!? Also, lol at tourists who don’t understand their tab even when they’re ordering from a menu which states prices. I work in an airport, and at least twice a day I have to go talk to someone who somehow thinks the prices on…

From the 1st pizza story: The typical don’t you know who I am etc etc.

I’m not a bigot so I’m OK with gay burrito marriage.

Hey as long as it’s two burritos who love each other ain’t none of your business

...adding gay burritos to agenda.

Via the LA Times, a guy named Dylan Grosz with a disturbingly scientific mind and way too much time on his hands ordered 35 Chipotle burritos over the course of several days and then weighed each one back at his office.

Maybe you’re really hungry and want to maximize the amount of (genuinely nutritious) food you get for your dollar. Maybe you want to freeze some of it for later. Why are these problems?

Yeah, but man-on-burrito lovemaking is one thing. What happens when people try to make gay burrito marriage into something real?

So instead of ordering a burrito, he orders all the constituents ala cart and makes it himself?