At least they have guaranteed single-payer self-ownage insurance, unlike this toilet bowl of a country.

Steve Elkington plays the game the right way!

My girlfriend bought us tennis rackets for my birthday.

Listen. There’s lots more stuff like this out there this morning

“This coffee sucks”

You dare doubt The Freeze?

Don’t let the incompetent officiating distract you from the fact that LeBron James did a self alley-oop in an NBA Finals elimination game.

Well, that Escaladed quickly.

The Warriors Are Math

Even when American runners didn’t end up on the podium in international meets, I always took pride in the nasal bone strength they displayed during competition. Now, I realize that was all a lie. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

This is the latest point in the season that any team has ever started to try to tank for the number one pick in the draft. Yet somehow it worked!

if these games were a david attenborough narrated, planet-earth style thing, the music the raptors would get when they tried to do basketball things would be the jaunty oboe of the hapless penguins that eventually get their brains bashed against the rocks by sea lions and orca whales

Seriously, if you think the shot was the key to that, I’m not sure you should be questioning someone’s hockey bona fides.

Breaking News: Mike Milbury is an asshole.

Counterpoint: this problem is very happy and makes me very happy.

I mean, it’s not like you could have gotten Jusef Nurkic or Serge Ibaka or Demarcus Cousins at the trade deadline for like, food stamps and a mascot or anything, so why get salty about it?

Always easy to tell who didn’t read the post.