I don’t think this is that rare of a thing, actually. I watch a lot of Nationals games, and I think Jonathan Papelbon must do it too, as players instruct him to ‘get fucked’ all the time.

I think them going under over it is a bit of stretch—okay, it’s a Reed Richards-level stretch—but at the moment, it is a very cheap move. I’m intrigued to see how they’ll tackle it.

Imagine if you started to suck at your job. And instead of people feeling sorry for you, they fat-shamed you and complained that you didn’t want to talk about how much you sucked. Now imagine those people are New York City reporters. Now imagine if spiders could fly. Now imagine that your whole house was covered in…

The bases were loaded. I don’t think it’s that unusual for pitchers to go from the windup when bases are loaded, because in order for anyone to steal, the guy on third has to steal home, which is where the pitcher’s going anyway.

Gotta hand it to Ken Starr, the guy knows how to run a sham of an investigation.

I mean, you fuck one goat and they call you a goat fucker.

As a professional procrastinator, the GOP’s reaction to Trump (which is essentially your comment) is very familiar. “We’ve got options. It’s complicated. We’ll figure it out next primary. Oh shit, there’s no primaries left? I’m sure we’ve got a backup plan around here somewhere.”

*reads headline and immediately goes to see if I got free money*

For once the Browns won’t even have to draft a quarterback to guarantee themselves a bunch of picks.

This never would’ve happened if Chip Kelly were still alive.

Barry, I hate to break it to you but Lincoln Chafee dropped out of the race months ago and this write-in fantasy of yours is doomed to fail.

1) This dumb election has made every single politically minded person lose their minds and I can’t wait until it’s over

Some people in the greys are boring liberal scolds like myself, who enjoy Old World wine, Multicultural Cuisine, Australian-style Gun Control, and being completely ignored in the Deadspin comment section.

Some asshole stole Bartolo Colon’s belt and is showing it off in the background.

A hate crime is a specific type of crime. It’s something you do against someone because of the category of person they are (a woman, black, gay, etc), not because of circumstance or other situational things.

This comment, and many others like it, is a perfect example of the point I’m making. “No,” says the wised-up internet user, “they’re not asking him to take a pay cut; they just want to pay him about half what he’s owed this year. He can earn the rest by playing another year, and working twice as long for the same…

I just figured it was a race and I'm undefeated.

I know. It’s about my next door neighbor.

For something traveling 600 miles per hour even slight turns would make people vomit. Existing rail lines wouldn’t suffice.