*Drew Bledsoe, stands up from his computer, raises hands into the air, cheers wildly, then injects HGH into Jimmy Garoppolo’s butt*

This. This is what you want to hear from a writer.

On the plus side, they’ll always been introduced as “former professional football player,” at events, even when they’re rocking a wheelchair at 35.

Um, Benefit Street is where all the houses built in the 16-1700s are. I doubt there’s one 7-bed house on that whole street. They all cost as much as a 7-bed house would, though. And all their floors are horribly uneven.

I don’t want to go all “It’s a Wonderful Life” on you, but what if Peyton Manning had never been born, huh? What then? Would Al Jazeera be talking about him then? Would Ashley Manning be a librarian? Would Eli have drowned in a pond?

It takes us a while because we only use two fingers and we spend a lot of time looking for the “ah” key.

That’s Stan Kroenke. Grubman looks less like a refrigerator repairman and more like, well, someone who has the title of “Executive Vice President”

“They call him the ‘Rock,’ but I don’t know, Phil, what do you think of that?”

Um, quick comment from a professional fundraiser for nonprofits here, but you should clarify a couple of things about tax-deductible donations:

Their rooms were comped by the US DOJ!

Unfortunately, he died 9 years before the Battle of Red Cliffs (or Chibi).

But now you’re just playing golf again.

Greg Howard has good taste.

Hey, those FanDuel and DraftKings employees are making the most of it. It’s the American Way!

A third party that split the vote of just one other party would be eradicated after about two national election cycles.

You want to be the mayor that lost your city their local franchise or the chance to host the Super Bowl?

In the new version of Moby Dick, there’s a lot more hot Ahab-on-whale action than I remember from my Great Books survey course in college. Like 50% of this book is bestiality. I can see why Melville died before this book got popular. Ahead of his time.

What, General William “The Oriental doesn’t put the same high price on life as does a Westerner...We value life and human dignity. They don’t care about life and human dignity,” Westmoreland isn’t a useful figure for modern society? You don’t say.

“Okay, but, run the watercolor filter effect again? And again? And again.

I generally agree with this, but I also have to recognize that I and my two siblings are product of an interoffice romance that created 30+ years of marriage.

So my suggested addendum: “...but if you do, make sure the other person is worth it.”