But how does it affect the home’s resale value? 

This article has all the juicy trimmings of a coastal elitist, save the hot take on the tech bubble.

Like the German language, it took you approximately 2,000 words to describe something it takes only three in the English language: pay the players.

“Fucking Hell.” -- any professional athlete being traded to Cleveland

Just* Do** It***

“Hey hey now, he didn’t get hit by a car!” - Tiger Woods, responding to #38

To be fair, there are no drunk driving laws on Jupiter, as far as we know.

This headline is about as surprising as Water is Wet, Scientists Confirm.

You monster. +chili dog

The metaphors for Justin Trudeau’s political scandals get more and more abstract by the day.

He joins Johnny Manziel on the Most Substantial Dives by an Aggie shortlist.

Drowned by their own expectations, it seems.

I look forward to the IAAF’s new “not Eliud Kipchoge” marathon classification.

You mean they’re again trying to sneak up on the humans with a T-Rex on the loose?

Maybe we should convince Dan Snyder that Chief Sitting Bull was a Super Bowl MVP.

“Close wins and losses provoked just as many emergencies as blowouts.”

The red line also goes north, y’know.

If only these rich dickwads’ kids had a modicum of talent - then I’m sure everything would be peachy!

I only need to be quietly and shallow-ly offended to talk about things that bother me. Ask me about Kylie Jenner being called a “self-made billionaire”, I DARE you.

Don’t cry for me, Argentine Hippo.