Goddammit, who stole the box of foil? I'm making baked potatoes tonight!

“(Yawn) you don’t say. Look at the lawnmowing-on-demand app I built!” — Katie Ledecky’s future Stanford roommate

You’re welcome. We’ll never cease to recognize the fact that you have the Yankees of the National League in your fair city.

“😢” - Alex Rodriguez

Well, we all know what happens to overtly-controlled Katinkas.

Best of luck on that dad joke app you've been working on, A-Rod.

Well, we all know where Gianluigi Buffon is holidaying this week, don’t we!

For a second, I wondered why they didn’t get more phonetic than “Tampons for Drumpf”. Then I realized I still have that Google Chrome extension installed.

Brit Morin, Founder/CEO, Brit + Co

#weareallheidi

Stop resurrecting tweets, Mr. Gilbert.

What a piece of Sheat.

Some people say, ya ya know they can’t believe

+sir Richard the Lionhearted

Gilbert. For destroying Detroit in a more cunning way than Kwame.

Australia! Guns don’t kill people, trains do!

I’m Jan Brewer, I’m brandishing a sidearm, and I approve this message.

Why would Mark’s parents name their other son Pierre? I don’t understand.

I was an early employee at one of the startups Gilbert’s VC arm funded. the level of chutzpah and gall the BC operated with was unlike anything I’ve since seen in the business world.

They’re the best players half of your money can buy.