How do I get my hands on one of these things?

It's amazing to watch Gisin.

You don't give a damn that you lost to your biggest rival for the first time at home since 2003?

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, LEOPARD SPOTS YOU! AND WRITES THE EXACT SAME THING BEARNOFACE DOES!

All I wonder, now, is where you incorporate the barcode scan.

Turns out, this guy was given a press pass after concluding that his reporting style was more authentic and insightful than a typical Rick Reilly article.

The reasons why, however, the Jazz held a Chris 'Birdman' Andersen Bobblehead Night remain unclear.

Ladies, Give me the Super Bowl. I'll stare at your tits for the other 8,755 hours of the year.

L.O.B. = Legumes Often Blossom

South Dakota's greatest enemies are the USSR and modern society. You youngsters shouldn't forget that.

ENGLISH REFEREE: [Puts hand in pocket]

ENGLISH REFEREE: [Fumbles around]

"Obviously we made a couple mistakes — referring to ourselves as a collective, most notably."

Winnipegger Adam Courchaine

The highlight of the night, although unrecorded, was Manu Ginobili impersonating Mark Cuban stomping on a sleeved jersey.

It's hard to answer any question when Sacha Baron Cohen sticks something in your face.

20:21?

Very similar to a party where there's a bunch of kegels in the garage.

Nikes are shit. Seriously. They represent about 1 percent of the sub-1:30 halfsie crowd's shoe of choice. Newton - yes, Isaac Newton - has a bigger market share.

Girls making out at a basketball game?