he's got so much swag, his opponents get just as excited as Matt's teammates.

"Hopefully, Argentina's strikers operate with a higher degree of efficiency than their oncologists."

I'd be willing to give Kym Worthy a pass for wanting more funding for her department — after all, she was the prosecutor that pursued corruption allegations against Kwame, got him fired, and sent to the slammer.

Would you prefer "Zidane is at the penalty spot with nobody in goal"?

What's the code for blocking any news about Kim Kardashian, Tim Tebow, and Bronies from any source, ever?

I'll trade you one of my tattoos for one of those tattoos. Happy Opposites Day.

"You do not want an Ohio State situation on your hand."

Father Jenkins and Mark Lazarus methodically sipped their morning beverages, the priest's being a Starbucks mild blend; Lazarus' being two shots of Jaegermeister, a poached and pureed duck egg, and a dash of almond milk.

Hookers are on watch.

More importantly: what bars does SHE go to?

Kate Upton just destroyed the Jets and Notre Dame

Pre-Nuptial Agreement_proathlete_DRAFT_v1.docx

This is a nice start.

Just ask Sabatino Chen about his experience in Arizona last week.

Northern Indiana is an equal opportunity inbreeding colony, from what I hear.

It's not tacky, but somewhat Parcheesi.

Poignant! +1

They've seen a lot of bludgeonings in DC, I reckon. +1

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He probably did get a bit of cock there!