Watch every press conference. He is always confused because he doesn’t understand anything but football. That is also why he buys that nonsense health shit the quack doctor feeds him.

This is not how the world works.

This reeks of Fear Of Missing Out (of the Chinese market)
Simple business strategy. you need to make more profit every year, otherwise the shareholders will dump you. China is now that possibility for expansion, so every company does whatever it needs to, to please their future customers.

Considering the average roll of two six-sided dice is around seven, and approximately 216,000 dice were rolled, Trivium estimates the roll totaled 756,000

She sued him. There is a process for Brown to learn facts. She is not beholden to their schedule. Brown’s employer is not entitled to her time, she can speak to them whenever is convienent for her, if she wants to at all.

“Pabst Blue Assholes” 

Said my wife as she washes my boxers

Based on my years playing hockey....ever since beer and vicarious living was invented.

I like to think he screams “That’s what you get!!” repeatedly at his wife after he climaxes.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

“Bear Weather” is winter. Bears sleep in the winter. Stop owning yourselves with “Bear Weather” you absolute stereotypes.

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

“Corn cobs” made me laugh til I cried, I shit you not. It may replace “knuckleheads” as my favorite insult. 

I really need to work “corn cobs” into my lexicon as an insult.  It’s wonderful.

See, I read it and immediately thought of Anoka. But Ham Lake works too. Or Southern Lakeville for that matter.

Anything outside the 494/694 loop is Tom Emmer / Michele Bachmann / There Be Dragons territory.

HAM LAKE! THE SANDWICH SWIMMERS!

Any place called HAM LAKE should be the Nation’s capital at the very least. 

I live in Ham Lake, and this is a terrifyingly accurate take. The volume of cul-du-sac cowboys in these here parts is mystifying. Congrats on your 12 trucks and zero retirement savings you corn cobs.

“I’m FIFTY!”