RE: Jim Carrey

you mean tic tacs 

Then hold onto your hat, because you’re about to be fascinated by the revelatory field of psychology and neuroscience known as “attachment theory”.

At what time did she manage to work, this revenge thing seems very time consuming.

People keep making this point under the assumption that a World Series game was attended exclusively by people who live within 20 minutes of the stadium. I live on the VA/NC border and have friends who drove five hours to go to game 4. It’s not just DC natives.

As Chris Rock said “there are black people who aren’t even born yet who won’t vote for him.”

I realize that Trump is the poster boy for the Dunning Kruger Effect, so yes, he probably did think that he would get a rousing ovation - hell, he probably thought the bullpen was going to call and ask him to come pitchy a couple innings - but is everyone else around him so brainwashed they honestly weren’t expecting…

A woman in one of my Facebook groups just got this. She has had several miscarriages and can’t carry a pregnancy. She actually knows someone with the name the card was signed with so she thought that woman was being a huge asshole for some reason.

A spokesperson for Mothers Lounge told the New York Times in a statement that the marketing campaign was “heartfelt.”

I think he sees Tiffany as Marla’s daughter and Barron as Melania’s son. The only children he seems to really regard as his own are the ones with Ivana.

Of course you cannot sign away the rights of your child to seek out their biological parent, especially in the era of readily available DNA testing and ancestry companies. But this woman who contacted her donor’s mother is kind of the worst. Like wtf was she expecting? Talk about seriously overstepping boundaries. If…

My main beef is how inaccurate this is. In reality, the whole plot of Cats would be them randomly knocking shit over and taking naps.

Increasingly, I think mothers create misogynistic creeps. Fathers may be responsible for juvenile shit like gun fetishism and macho fuckery, but mothers “protecting their sons” seems to give boys and young men a huge head start in developing sexist and misogynistic attitudes.

The cats are a metaphor. The cats are Bret Stephens. 

“Have you tried teaching your sons to not be sexist little fucks?”

Smithfly, a subsidiary of ACME Products, Inc.

“So we beat on, tents against the current, borne ceaselessly into the past.”

I have a friend who regularly saves drunk weekend tubers after they’ve floated downstream and into the Arizona desert. One girl told him she thought the river just circled around and you’d float back to your original spot. You can’t make this stuff up.

I hear the patent owner Al E. Gator couldn’t be reached for comment, but could be seen in an oversized fedora, trench coat, and what looked like green boots. 

“He died like he lived: drifting aimlessly wherever the current took him.”