My lower lip is a curmudgeonly old man, but my upper lip is a quiet but sporadically sassy slam poet. I don’t know what’s wrong with your dead, soulless lips.

Since Citizens United v. FEC.

Since poetry.

You’re dead inside.

Hey, that kiss on the cheek is 3rd base for Wilson.

Ciara already tried a Future upgrade; it didn’t take.

This motherfucker is so corny I swear Congress is gonna subsidize him in the next farm bill.

Our solar system is not symmetrical. So there’s that.

Equipment Manager: “I have nothing to say, officer. I ain’t gonna dime anyone out.”

As a former delivery driver for several years in the 90's...Fuck you for making me risk life and limb for your $5.99 plain pie and offering me a whole dollar for my efforts. I’d rather go home with no money. Man up and open a can of soup.

There should be a special state law that says if you make a delivery guy deliver without tipping him in the middle of a storm, he should legally be able to throw you down the stairs. The higher up you live, the more steps he gets to use.

Can you really boycott a place no one wants to go to?

i’m so tired of being told that for the sake of feminism i must accept a pro-war candidate.

“sometimes you need chipotle”

Perhaps in Ft. Greene you do, but certainly not in the SW. Related: why do Mericans try so hard to fuck up the Mexican cuisine? It’s already perfect.

I live next door to Taco Tepango. Life is good.

I feel so bad for all the people who grew up with Chipotle as their model for a burrito. You’re better off than the Taco Bell generation, but only by a tiny amount.

Yesss Tepango is the best. So look I used to live on Classon but live in LA now and it’s weirding me out that Chipotle is on Myrtle Avenue. Did Home & U go out of business? My old neighborhood is ch-ch-ch-changing and I have mixed feelings

Gotcha. I will peep out Tepango.

All except you, Grumpster. Thanks for maintaining high standards for everyone. I just hope it’s not too lonely up there, and that you brought a jacket. The winds of intellect get chilly!

R G Twee