Donald Trump is the Staten Island of presidents.

*Scorching take, handle with caution*: Rudy Giuliani is an insufferable jackass.

THISSSSSS.

That second sentiment just slayed me. Thank you.

His suits absolutely echo the line work of a Plympton cartoon.

“I have a yuge pile of crumpled suits in my bedroom, really a tremendous pile, probably the biggest, I’ve been told that. The wrinkles? The wrinkles are the wrinkliest wrinkles, you’re not going to find wrinkles like this on any other suit. Really, no one knows looking like an enormous horse’s ass more than me, no…

When Ivanka was a kid, she got frustrated because she couldn’t set up a lemonade stand in Trump Tower. “We had no such advantages,” she writes, meaning, in this case, an ordinary home on an ordinary street. She and her brothers finally tried to sell lemonade at their summer place in Connecticut, but their…

It’s the height of affected accessorizing: “Hello, I’m a bit chilly, so I need this scarf, but y’know, not chilly enough that I’d wear a normal goddam shirt that covers my body properly.”

Someone help him and remove that awful snake from around his neck, for godssakes!

After being grabbed and patted down by Hardy (which probably would have been thrilling under different circumstances)...

“Gosh”?!

It’s a desperate straw grasp, he clearly has no idea what he’s trying to say either.

“It was a slang term...”

“Look how chill and laid back I am in my sporty baseball cap and my rugged flannel. And, and, my...my false eyelashes. I’m just like you!”

Brad Pitt and Will Ferrell are among the film’s producers.

I knew that some of these dudes had questionable qualifications, but this is just ridiculous.

I think you mean Candice Bergen: http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/actress-candice-bergen-opens-past-blind-date-donald/story?id=36892025

...with a plot about Barbie being a town outcast.

Great minds! I just posted below:

Here I was thinking it was Brett Ratner’s films that were ruining Hollywood. Weird.