Moonlight for everything. Even the stuff it wasn’t nominated for. Thanks.

I came across a woman in the comments of an Instagram post from this weekend’s New York City march, and it took me all my strength not to engage. Her brilliant claim was:
 
“Which rights do men have currently that women don’t have? What are you complaining about?”

What I took away from it is that we’re only allowed to be dissatisfied with one thing at a time, and one thing only!

LOLz at Nosferatu.

It certainly couldn’t have hurt.

Olivia was rarin’ to go as a third string wideout, but she had a sore hammy :/

This is totally why Gilbert Gottfried didn’t show up either.

SO DESPERATE!

Right? All you could come up with was her applauding a director (who was receiving an Oscar, mind you) with a checkered past thirteen years ago? Step your game up, please.

Right? Also, like, what have you done for me lately? How boring are you that you’re defining yourself by means of a sock you bled on more than TWELVE years ago. Get a life.

This is very good Kinja.

Of COURSE that’s from Curt Schilling. So help me, that man is insufferably dense.

Gotta love Fox News Opinions’ coverage from yesterday:

I thought CrimeOnline.com was reserved as a clearinghouse for images of every outfit Michael Jordan’s ever donned.

Enough with the sense-making, durned librul!

Oh, you’re definitely on the right track. Whether or not your’re in possession of the sportsbat, you must not, under ANY circumstances, touch any of the things with any of the other things.

Football is simple! You simply need to tread water and hit the sportsball with the sportsbat over the opposing team’s goalnetzoneline.

Cheers to Jay for throwing something correctly.