Apparently, Jenny McCarthy doesn’t hate all injections, amirite?

“Lotta oral labor for something that will make you shit like a busted hydrant.”

My friend, this is all well and good, but there is one and only one choice to replace Jon Gruden - DMX.

Don’t look for the logic. That way lies madness.

Based on the picture, are we sure she’s not really Elway’s kid?

The villain of one of the most popular and influential blockbuster movie series of the 21st century was a balding middle-aged dweeb named “Agent Smith.”

+4 second place finishes

NEVER refer to someone as reaching out or having reached out when you mean contacted. They’re not the fucking Four Tops.

This story is about things that should die in 2018 and no one’s going to dare say Donald Trump? You don’t have to say that you want him assassinated. Just that he finally’s done in by say, a well done hunk of steak or an overdose of whatever meds his doc’s been slipping him though the years. Or just age- he’s old…

Always a Julian Truther on the Web.

Using “squad” to describe your lame group of friends.

Twitter is dramatically worse than Facebook, as evidenced by the fact that it is the one of the two that is the preferred tool of Donald Trump.

This restaurant is where I ate my first turduckentwisnipon- a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken stuffed with a Twinkie stuffed with a Snickers stuffed with a tampon. It was pretty good when liberally slathered with Tabasco-ketchup/ espresso-mayonnaise.

Forget it, Jack. It’s Flavortown.

Finding out aliens really exists is the only possible ending for 2017 when you actually think about it.

I’m marking this comment as the point kinja folds in on itself and forms a hyper dimensional tesseract.

Boy, the stealth marketing for the next season of The X-Files has really stepped it up. Which will make it all the more disappointing when the show sucks again ...

If there were aliens known to the US government, 45 would be privy to the information, and he would have blurted it out by now.

Trump didn’t realize the biggest problem with building the wall was that the illegal aliens could just levitate over it.

“Albuterol relaxes the muscles around the bronchial tubes, which allows asthmatic athletes to breathe normally or non-asthmatic athletes to breathe easier. “