With two articles that mention Drew I’m hoping this means he’s not going to be a vegetable after all, and merely had to come down from an epic Ambien/Craft Beer wipeout and convinced not to run for President

Damn, the Gold Club. If only MARTA hadn’t conspired with the FBI to frame the owners so the building would be condemned and MARTA could buy it for pennies on the dollar, we’d still be eating lemon pepper wings there today.

Donald Trump in proposal mode. NO ONE DENIES THIS

this is my favorite comment in the whole of human history.

this is my favorite comment in the whole of human history, and viciously under-starred

Am I the only person who wonders wtf #TIKA means,  but somehow just knows it’s horrible?

I will star you for it anyway, because that’s my favorite joke and it should be used in every applicable situation.

AND he was willing to send along the butcher’s info! Do you know how hard it is to find a decent butcher these days?

I’m printing this reply out and framing it, because it is everything.

But can he remember where his car keys are? Because I can’t.

actually I just re-read both and Bob the Builder DEFINITELY comes out ahead in the crazystakes.

God DAMN. I thought Bob the Builder up there had really leaned into it until I got to John M. What the hell are these guys huffing? Paint made from pure lead?

+1 Namimbia

I would have paid a thousand dollars to see that cop look at the complainer, say “are you fucking kidding me?” and then earnestly start discussing LeBron going to the Lakers with the other guy.

ALL THE FUCKING STARS

holy shit.

I have to say, I’ve had a very long Monday, and between the voicemail and the comments this made me laugh until I almost peed my pants. You people are fantastic.

oooh White Wolf! now *there’s* a blast from the clove-cigarette-scented past.

Pete Carroll is at home with a gallon of jet fuel, an I-beam, and a life-sized cutout of Marshawn Lynch.

is that just the worst photoshop in history, or is this woman actually a wearing a potato sack under her sunglasses?