it won’t use the lotion so it keeps getting the hose

As a person who fits this description I would say this is 1,276% true

how do you not have more stars

+1 for making me spit out my coffee

Am I the only one who thinks Pomeranians always look both shocked and appalled, as if they’ve just witnessed a murder?

please bring this dog to me immediately for cuddles

+1 for astronomy jokes

I admit it. I laughed.

OUCH

I wonder how much he’s been hamstrung for recruiting now that A&M is in the SEC. He was a great DC at Florida and South Carolina, and he beat the daylights out of Florida when he was head coach at Louisville.

I’d just like to take a moment to mention how much it chaps my ass that Pete Carroll, of all the coaches that have transitioned to pro ball from college coaching, seems to be the only one who did it successfully.

are you sure you didn’t grow up in Florida? That’s like Florida level of awesome.

once I find my teeth and put them in I will take exception to this comment.

everything about this thread makes me happy. Thank you.

he’ll certainly bloviate long enough during the inauguration to catch pneumonia.

I’m beginning to believe Trump thought the position was largely ceremonial, like the Queen of England.

“they were in the parking lot of a doughtnut shop (why are gyms always neighbored by sabotage?)“

next week I learn their, there, and they’re. Book Learnin! It’s important.

You do? I stand corrected then. Have a dozen on me.

I always heard it was because he was a raging germaphobe. Supposedly that’s why he only likes to eat fast food as well (deep-fried = less germs).