Fun fact: I got my PhD in geography because of this one episode of West Wing. It aired when I was a freshman searching for a decent major and like CJ, I was blown away by the fact that Europe wasn't where I thought it was. So, I decided to take a geography class as a lark and, 12 years later, here I am.

This is the face I get every time mine notices I have the camera aimed towards her. I try to get a normal picture and she turns into a freaking ham. She's not even a year and a half yet and already knows....

$4.99 per month. Take it/leave it.

Samantha Jones said it best: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Does it still count if the phase has been going on for three years? Asking for a friend.

When I was 25, my boyfriend not only broke up with me on Valentine's Day, in a fancy French restaurant, but he named three men he did not want me to date. And I spent a very happy three months binging on revenge sex with all of them.

I knew a woman who had emergency surgery after a burst cyst, which left a long curving scar across her lower abdomen. She had a zipper tattooed over it, with an elf pulling the zipper. She said that the scar tissue had no feeling, so it didn't hurt, but her boyfriend was flinching throughout his tattooing.

This is the hospital I was born at. When I was 2 days old, and still in neonatal ICU, my mother was in a car accident when an intensely drunk man ran his car into the back of her vehicle while she was waiting at a red light. She was declared brain dead and pulled off life support several days later.

Well, it exists, so unless you plan on just banning all not whole food, might as well stick some labels on it to try to keep everyone honest.

Okay, so my abortion made my son autistic. But what made him gay? Or did his homosexuality retroactively make him autistic? So his future gay activity (he's only ten) reached back through time and... wait! I understand! She's a moron. That explains everything.

My mom, who announced last night that she "loves Nick Cannon" has declared Justin Biever [sic] to be "over". You heard it here first, kids.

The Jon Hamm link was just what I hoped it would be!

Relevant:

And yet he have nothing to say about Uncle Sugar coming to save men's flagging boners.

The words "Uncle Sugar" coming out of his mouth grosses me out so much, I may never have sex again. Mission accomplished?

When is Team Doge going to get a Puppy Cafe???

Put a ring on it.

It doesn't matter if you think NFL cheerleading is sexist*, it's still their right to get a living wage.