I’m not sure that would stop him.

I was 100% also going to comment this until I realized I read it wrong.

I misread the headline as could a hot dog win the hot dog eating contest.

Gotta say it would be a nice addition to the 7 Nation Army chant.

He’s a champion of the oceans in that he prefers Big Macs to Filets-O-Fish.

I hear this a lot and I don’t think it’s entirely true.

Precisely this. I didn’t love this roster, and Jozy Altidore locked up the Chris Wondolowski Memorial OMG Miss of the Year Medal for 2019, but this group at this level of play will absolutely get the job done in qualifying next year and then we can see if some of the youngsters can jump up a level or two.

I wonder if he has tried turning his campaign off and on again—that’s just a little joke about computers for all my computer heads out there.

Your security guards were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

“War Story” was definitely the worst Pixar movie, right? 

If Meghan leaves does that jeopardize the content deal between Splinter and “The View” I assume exists because this site writes more about this third-tier talk show than almost anything else?

If I wake up on my own before my son or wife wakes me and the sun is up, I feel like I hit a jackpot.

Yeah, actually I’m just upset about holding kids in cages no matter if it’s the smart black guy I like or the orange racist I don’t.

I guess you’re OK with kids being held in cages if someone you like does it, which I gotta say, doesn’t do a ton for your “we learned from internment camps!” argument.

Battletoads *definitely* made me a nihilist, at least for a while.

Mike Pence on opioids sounds like the least fun party ever.

You act like this is the first time we’ve held non-whites here legally in concentration camps.

I feel the same when when I hear people say about America “We’re better than this” when no, we’re really not and never have been.

You’ll note he just said “a successful offseason.” He didn’t specify it would be 2019. 

100% this. It will be the justification for these “not concentration camps” to start veering toward “not death camps.”

“No. No! NO NO NO! *We* broke up with him!!!!”