This whole thing is a delight, as always, but “buttery germaphobe” is somehow even better than the 800 other amazing descriptions Roth has run through over the years, and again, I don’t know how he’ll top it (but he will).

I feel like venture capitalists would consider theft a sport, right?

Well *I* didn’t even like Life in Hell.

Yeah, that’s both fair and closer to where I am on the show. I was definitely still watching regularly at that point, and all of the episodes you named are enjoyable.

Was anyone still chuckling in season 11?

“Bill Callahan is the Todd McVay of quick losses.”

We all chuckled when Mark McGwire warily muttered “I’m not here to talk about the past” to Congress, but it turns out he was just ahead of his time.

“Look at how tightly they’re holding on to him! I don’t understand how this is OK and Roberto Osuna’s conduct is not.”

+1 uncomfortable silence

Burying something, all right.

Great read!

Let’s just steal the coin flip from the NFL: Home team gets to call it, and winning team gets to choose rocket balls for the evening or the DH.

Pictured: Tom McMahon’s great-grandfather’s first and only attempt at aeronautics engineering.

I’m sad for CC because, as a fellow Plump American, he’s always been one of my people.

Unfortunately, he’s gonna get traded to another marriage next season for a late-round draft pick.

Excellent as always.

Agreed that it’s different for franchises with less of a history in smaller markets. But Sarver’s cheapness seems quite well-known in NBA circles, no? And when they were good, that was reported, as I recall when the SSOL teams fell off (though admittedly, that was early in the social media universe, so it was probably…

He’s not wrong, but there absolutely are franchises who get their teeth kicked in by the media and fans for continually not being able to develop talent.

100% this. Jameis and Mariota are both kinda mediocre, but in completely different ways, and I think you could win with Jameis (even as he cost you a few games along the way with fumbles that would even make Eli Manning blush) but probably couldn’t with Mariota.

I mean, you don’t see him dating Angelina Johnson or Padma Patil while he’s at Hogwarts.